When we don't get what we want, we often blame the source. We want to know why that person, institution, or process failed us. Even on the rare occasions when we examine our own role in this failure, it's unusual to consider whether the things we want are reasonable, moral, or even possible.
We live in the age of advertising. A century of psychological research combined with intensive (and intrusive) data collection allows others to manipulate our desires. Whatever we may wish for, consumer goods, lifestyle, religious or political outcomes, someone else is tellings us what to want. If we can't explore our own genuine desires, how likely are we to examine the manufactured ones?
To examine your own desire, you must ask yourself these questions:
-Is it possible?
This seems obvious, but if we don't know for sure that our goal is attainable, then we're wasting everyone's time and effort. If someone offers eternal life, they need to prove the claim.
-Is it reasonable?
Would the effort or the expense justify the wish? A gold-plated lemonade stand will never return the investment.
-Is it moral?
How would the consequences of fullfilling your wish affect others? The British Empire sold slaves for 450 years. It worked for everyone but the slaves.
You have to be honest with yourself. You have to ask one more question, "why?". Why do I want this? Here begins a journey. Hopefully, one of enlightenment, a journey to a better you. Some are unwilling to look this deep. But without an understanding of your own wishes, you will be trapped in a cycle of desire, frustration, and anger, lashing out against imaginary enemies. In this cycle, the best you can hope for is to be meaningless and annoying, at the worst you could be an accessory or even an agent of evil.
It sounds funny to say but, you don't know what you want until you know what you want.
(painting by Roger Dean)